Those little Demons called Children

So there your standing. In front of a cute, little baby boy or girl. They have just fallen asleep, at 2:00 in the morning. You have bags under your eyes, and you are exhausted. But there the baby is, asleep. The parents are gone, and the house is empty. What do you do next?

YOU PICK UP THAT BABY AND WHIP IT OUT OF THE FUCKING WINDOW!

not really....but thats how we all feel when we babysit, right?

Babysitting for a job, is a big fuckin joke. Why do we do it? because we have been lied to! Neighbors, family friends, etc all ask you to do a little babysitting for them. You feel sorry for them, so you agree.

You show up at their house, listen to all the rules and regulations the parents dish out, and then they leave you. So, now its time to meet the kids.

Are you expecting sweet, innocent children? The ones that are mock-ups of their parents? Listen to every command, no complaints, say please and thank you sort of thing?

Wake the fuck up. because your fucking wrong!
They come running down the stairs like a pack of wild, crazy, women running to get the last pair of Jimmy Choo's. They are either little ugly red heads, or depressed little wannabe emo children. They are loud, they don't listen, and they destroy the house.

They dont want what you make them for dinner, garbage is all over the house, they fight with each other, and its just the most insane thing of all. The worst part is when you have 2 + children, AND a baby. Why?

BECAUSE THE BABY NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP!!!! You end up running around the house, picking up trash, cleaning up 24/7, sitting kids in time-outs, feeding the baby, changing its diapers, putting it to sleep, then running after the kids again trying to get them to shut up. and they end up waking the baby again.

The worst part of it all is waiting for the parents. Didn't they say they would be home at midnight. WRONG! See what I've realized is parents have a secret code when they say they'll be home. Take what time they say, and add 3 more fucking hours to it.

So after you finally get all the children down at midnight, and scramble around trying to clean up the house (worry that the parents will be home soon), it takes you a couple hours. Then you finally lay on the couch at 3am, and guess who walks in the door. the parents.

you get up, bags under your eyes, tell them their children were angels (even though you KNOW they fuckin weren't and you'd love to go smother them with a pillow) and wait for your pay.

then what do they give you? they amount they were supposed to? FUCK NO!
they give you about 50 dollars less then what you expected. (inside your ready to fuckin knock out the parents, lock the doors, and set the house on FUCKIN FIRE!)....but sadly you can't....cuz its illegal....i looked it up.

instead you drive home, tired as fuckin hell, and crawl into your measley little bed. only to realized you have another babysittin job the next night.

Don't agree with me?

Then you can get into the house that I lock up and set on fire with the rest of the horrific fuckin family.

Do agree with me?

Then you can come over to my house tomorrow night at 7:00pm and my friend Mr. Right will make you his famous cock in a steak sandwich. Then we can all spoon and watch Gossip Girl and The Devil Wears Prada.

I don't care what you think. I'm right, so deal with it. BLAH!

Somebody has to say it.

First of all, let me ask you a question....what is "the truth"?

think of your response real hard.

whatever you just thought of, your wrong.

Because in society today, no one fuckin tells the truth anymore, and thats just how we live. Lying is a part of life and people need to deal with it. For my first example, lets take a look into relationships. If a girl ask a guy if she looks nice, what is he supposed to say? 9 out of 10 times he will say she looks nice even though she may look like a baby prostitute. Now ladies, do you want the truth or do you want us to lie? You have to explain these things to us because we just don't understand you. My philosophy in relationships is to tell a guy/girl this, "You don't have to tell me everything, just don't lie to me." So that way if a guy cheats on a girl, he does not have to tell her unless she asks. And if she wants the truth on how she looks, the guy can finally tell her what he thinks. Now a second example would be something like lying to gain power. And this example falls into the category of presidential elections. How can people seriously believe that every fuckin word that comes out of a presidents mouth is for real? Seeing as though I was pro-McCain, lets rat on Obama. How could a predidential elect like this man have no idea that his aunt has been an illegal immigrant for over 5 years? Mmmm?
There are just so many people in this world that lie its unfathomable. So everybody does it, whether its a little white lie, or a lie to an entire country. We have to deal with it, and somebody had to say something about it. Don't agree with me? I don't care, I'm right so deal with it.

Obama Supporters

I recently came across a blog that I felt was completely necessary to have. It may be a little over-the-top and offensive, but it needed to be written. My friend Mr. Right has concluded a well thought out and descriptive blog about how stupid avid-Obama supporters are. So as my first blog, I would like you to read what he has to say on the issue.

http://everythingibelieveandyoushouldtoo.blogspot.com/

look at it. read it. agree with it. comment it.

simple as that.